Dermatology Appt

 

 My skin rash.

 

Olivia redecorating the exam room table.

 

A sack of hopeful cures.

Turning 33 at the DMV

  

Thirty-three years ago today, I was born.

  

If I go anywhere near my mother today, I will hear the whole story of my birth... again.  I know it by heart. I guess I should by now. Sometimes, I just tune in and out.  My mother went into labor... I was her second baby and she was nervous... she didn't know if she could ever love anyone as much as she loved my sister, her first baby... the love she felt had taken her breath away... the selfless purity and depth of that love- it was like all parts of her- her body, heart, mind and soul- were firing all at once... she KNEW in that moment- without hesitation, without even being asked- that she was willing to die for this person... after all those months of growing, after all those hours separating from each other... she held me and laughed at how silly she had been... she learned that love comes from an infinite place... she had more than enough love... she loves me... I weighed 10lbs 1.5oz... I didn't look that big my mom always says... the nurses tried a couple different scales... I was also 23 inches long... that's probably why it was hard to tell... my dad brought a bag of pacifiers to the hospital, all proud of himself... my sister loved those things and only gave them up after she chewed them apart when she was teething... they popped a pacifier in my mouth... I popped it back out at them... I taught them I am my own person... they learned... my sister, Amy, is about 18 months older...  she loved to hold me... she called me "Baby Joy"... she stole my pacifiers for herself... she chewed them up... my sister was born with hair...

I was born bald... I am bald again...

Today, I am 33 years old!    

My Driver's license had to be renewed this year.

I don't want a bald picture for the next 4 years.

So here I am...     

on my way to the DMV.

I figured somebody would ask me to take off the hair I bought at Party City on clearance for a couple dollars. I wanted to make sure somebody did not feel like crap when I pulled the wig off to reveal my bald head AND my cancer diagnosis.  I brought the fun with me.  The woman behind the desk asked how they got my hair all those different colors.  

I am happy to report nobody's feelings were hurt at all. 

A week later, I opened the mail.

My new ID!

Seasons: Round 4, Dose 2



Valentine's Day has passed,

so before we picked my mom up for chemo today,

Olivia and I stopped at Target

and found some cool stuff on clearance. 

I know Kohls has a "Lowest Prices of the Season Sale"

-like once a week-

and I am reminded...

to everything there is a season.




There is a time to color Hello Kitty.




A Time to munch on Valentine Treats at 50% off!




A Time to apply Valentine Chapstick



carefully to "my yips."



 There is a Time to Smile.



A Time to Dance



and skip



(turn, turn, turn)



and a Time to put your hand up in the air
just because it's fun



to twirl dizzy-fast.



There is a Time to check out who else is going potty.



And a Time NOT to be defined
by what life puts in your path.



There is a Time to cuddle with Mom,



while she rubs your back
and makes you feel safe and warm.



 

"To everything,

there is a season.

And a time to every purpose

under Heaven."

-Ecclesiastes

-Pete Seeger (May 3, 1919- January 27, 2014),

may he rest in Peace

Love is in the Air

Happy Valentine's Day!

My mother sent me this idea on Pinterest. 

(I got her started on Pinterest and I highly recommend it).  

So today, Olivia made these treats for our family.

Papa Murphy's Heart-shaped Pizza for dinner.

And a sweet, little girl serving dessert!

Note Amore trying to blend into the background-

while remaining on high alert for a little something falling on the floor 

(or held in the hands of the vertically challenged).

Happy Valentine's Day 

I hope this day

 you were able to celebrate love

in whatever way 

is most meaningful to you.

I hope this day

you were grateful

for the little things, the simple things

that are really the most precious and beautiful of all.

I hope this day

you know how your heart touches mine

EVERY day  

and I hope you wrap your arms around yourself,

and give yourself a great big hug

from me.

Round 4, Dose 1

Erubulin Round 4, Dose 1.  You know the drill.

Where's the chemo???

My mom and I went to Mercy Hospital Infusion Center for my first dose of my 4th round of chemo.  I had my PIV started, labs drawn and we waited.  We watched Ellen and laughed and looked at Pinterest ideas on our phones.  Then, my nurse said the Pharmacy couldn't find my chemo.  We waited some more, then were told to come back tomorrow.  Not happening.  Monday at 4pm is the only time I have for chemo. 

When the hospital can't find your chemo, I figure it's a Snow Day for me!  Dinner and stopped at Target to look around. On the bright side, now my chemo day won't fall on my birthday Monday!  Score!

The Results are IN

Drumroll, please... First, the rash on my left arm is a bacterial infection to be treated with oral antibiotics. I started them and broke out in hives on my arms, legs and abdomen. These were discontinued and I started an antibiotic cream.

The lymph node results came back as NO CANCER CELLS!!!   However, the radiologist (who was the same one who read the last PET/CT scan results) was unsure if they got the correct lymph nodes, so we scheduled another biopsy for the coldest day of the year Monday, January 6.. The nurse wanted to make sure my car would start, so I was scheduled at 8:30 am.  My mom already had a cough and cold, so I told her to stay home and stay warm. Mark could drive me in his fancy car with seat heaters. Another ultrasound and some small talk about Olivia Joy with the ultrasound technician.

This Breast Center was the same clinic that made my official breast cancer diagnosis over 4 years a ago. This time, they took samples of 2 lymph nodes.  The one from last time and the one just below it.

Biopsy Part 2

We waited and waited (cue the crickets :) and....NO CANCER CELLS!!! 

This morning, Dr. Laudi discussed the plan. I am going to stay on course with Erubulin for 2-3 more rounds at a slightly increased dose, then do another PET/CT scan to check progress. 

To recap:  Liver spots are gone, L4 spot is significantly smaller, there appears to be a questionable faint spot on my right scapula.  The rash was a bacterial infection and Dr. Laudi thinks the lymph node activity had to do with that infection. 

Skin rash after a dose of oral antibiotics and a few days of antibiotic cream.  Healing nicely.

Mommy's little helper.

I appreciate all of your prayers and thoughts and support.  Through these years I am grateful to know I am here today and Olivia is here, because of all of you.  From my heart, I THANK YOU!