Bucket List

"Do you have a Bucket List?"

I am asked this question a lot.  I believe everyone has a list of things they want to do or see or accomplish in the world.  Most of these lists- like mine- are in our heads, populating our hopes and dreams, our "somedays".  Maybe people ask me this question because they feel- like I have felt- that many of my dreams may never come true... my someday may never come...

When I was first diagnosed with Stage IV Breast Cancer, Natalie was 9 and Larissa was 4.  It was hard for me to think of all the things I would miss in their lives and all they would miss by not having a mom here for them.  We fool ourselves by thinking tomorrow is a guarantee.  Fear and worry about such things makes waste of today.

So, (drumroll, please) off the top of my head, here are my Bucket Lists broken into two....

Sarah's Bucket List
  1. Grow old with Mark
  2. Watch our children grow up
  3. Know our grandchildren
  4. Meet Ellen and thank her for her dancing inspiration during my chemos
  5. Have an Ice cream truck to drive through neighborhoods on hot days
  6. Get a long, long massage
  7. Try paddle boarding
  8. Ride in a limo
  9. Try Kayaking
  10. Take a helicopter ride
  11. Snowmobiling
  12. Own our dream home
  13. Have custom made shoes for my hard-to-shoe feet
  14. Love Lock in Paris
  15. Swim with manatees
  16. Go to Iceland
  17. Fly First Class
  18. Decorate my home
  19. See a taping of Saturday Night Live
  20. Be able to give back big

My Mom Bucket List
  1. See Olivia start Kindergarten
  2. See Larissa go to middle school
  3. See Natalie go to high school
  4. See all girls go to college
  5. Play in the ocean with our girls
  6. Go to Disney World
  7. Visit the Laura Ingalls Wilder sites
  8. Go on an African Safari with a camera
  9. See the Grand Canyon
  10. Go to the Smithsonian
  11. Go to Paris in the Spring
  12. See a Broadway show
  13. Go to Hawaii
  14. Ride the London eye
  15. Go to St Peter Square
  16. See the pyramids
  17. See the Hollywood sign
  18. See a Taylor Swift Concert
  19. See a Twins Game
  20. Go on a Disney cruise
  21. See my daughters go to Prom
  22. See my daughters get married 
  23.  ..........

"Do you have a Bucket List?"

Now, I can say, "Yes, I have two."

It always strikes me as funny when people ask me about life and death as if they are standing a safe distance from both.  Whether we acknowledge it or not, death is coming for each and every one of us, but Life is now!  All we ever have is now!

I guess, the beauty of a Bucket List is that it's yours.  You get to write it.  You get to cross things off it.  You get to keep adding to it. You get to dream and plan and take yourself to places you have never been and make them all a part of you.  You get to open yourself to life and choose to live.  We are alive today- feel your aliveness and longing and dreams.  Take a risk.  Put yourself out there.  This is your chance. Choose to Live!

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