Test results and new plan

Today at my appt, Dr. Laudi gave me the results of all my tests. -My tumor markers have gone up to 74.12 (from 43.97 in November).
-the MRI showed my mets had 'significantly improved, but there is quite a bit of residual'
-The PET scan report said the areas in my spine that had radiation were 'resolved,' but I still had diffuse disease. One breast lesion had decreased in size while the axillary lesion had grown.

Plan:
-Stop steroids
-Since Lupron only blocks 90% of estrogen, I would start Femara that would block 100% (estrogen is also found in the adrenal gland, liver and fat). Increased hot flashes were the side effects.
-Radiation to an active area in my ribs
-Zometa in 1 month
-Continue Fentanyl patches with Dilaudid prn

Mark has been reading up on Femara, or more specifically, on the possible side effects of Femara:
-Hot flashes and sweating
-Fatigue and weakness
-Nausea
-Weight loss or weight gain
-Headaches, backaches, joint pain
-blah, blah, blah
-blood clots and chest pain

To me it sounds like more of the same. As you can imagine, Mark is working himself into a tizzy. The fact is, Mark likes estrogen. He believes estrogen is responsible for me looking in his direction, for saying 'I do,' for having babies with him. Even though estrogen is feeding the cancer cells that are trying to take me over, Mark is searching for a loophole to keep estrogen around.

My mother is squeezing my hand and telling me that she would take all of this from me in a second if she could. I know that already without her saying it.

It's a sad thing to watch the people you love- hold on to the past, bargain with the future, or simply resist what is.
Sometimes, I think actually having cancer is easier than the second-hand-cancer all of you got stuck with.