Friday, May 17, 2013

Side effects

I woke up this morning and my vision was improving.  Things in the distance were getting clearer, but it was still difficult to read.

My niece, Coral, was singing in a choir concert at the Mall of America and I had planned to go.  I still wanted to go and Amy was driving so I had no excuse not to.  We headed to Bloomington with our mom and Olivia miles behind the buses carrying the singers.

Olivia sat in her carseat in the back next to her grandma.  She sipped on the soymilk in her sippy cup and put it back in her cup holder.  She nibbled on crackers that I brought and on the Fruit by the Foot that Amy brought.  Olivia teased my mom by unbuckling the top buckle on her carseat strap, slipping her arms out and waving them freely through the air.  She can't unbuckle the one that buckles between her legs, so she said, "I'm stuck." 

My mom told her, "You are supposed to be stuck.  Get your arms stuck again." 

Olivia got her arms stuck.  She noticed a little cow and cat flashlight that Amy has in her van and Amy passed them back to her.  When she pushed the button the cow Moooed and the cat Meeeooowed and a little light lit up their noses.  Olivia laughed, then noticed a pink flower ring that had been buried in the frosting on top of the cupcake I had brought Amy to work on her birthday last summer. 

Olivia pointed and said, "Ring." 

I told her, "No, that is Amy's.  It is her special.  She is sharing the cow and cat with you.  The ring is Amy's"

"Noitsnot." Olivia continued to point. She repeated, "Noitsnot.  Its mine!"  That got my mom laughing.  Olivia eventually got the ring.  It didn't fit well, but she shoved it into a hidey hole in her car seat for later. 

Olivia in various stages of stuck.

My mom and sisters tell me I am their navigator and claim I have a GPS in my head. 

My mom told Mark, "I hate the Mall of America.  Last time Amy and I went there together we got lost in there." 

Mark asked her, "How can you get lost in the Mall of America?  The thing is a circle."

"No comment."  She said while he laughed. 

We found the choir getting ready to stand on risers and sing.  There were about 10 small benches set up, but we stood on the side watching and taking pictures.  Olivia escaped from her stroller.  Toddlers have power in this situation and they know it.  She glanced at us and started wandering between the benches until she found one she liked, then she climbed up next to a gentleman in a flannel shirt with tattoos on his arms.  He glanced over at her and smiled, then watched the stage.  She sat for the first song, then clapped, then slid off the bench to wander back to us.  After that base was touched, she went back and sat next to the man for the next song, repeating this for each song until the fanalie.  For the last song, some of the choir left the risers and stood on the floor.  They danced to this song and Olivia danced with them, trying to match their movements.  It was very sweet.

Coral singing and dancing with her choir.
Olivia dancing with the choir.

Facinated by music and dance!


 Olivia running Wild

Olivia sitting quietly by a new friend (man in the plaid shirt).

Olivia did not get her nap and when we stopped at Red Robin for veggieburgers and onion rings, she was a wild girl.  She slid off the bench and got loose under the table and ran over to a booth where there was a merry-go-round horse displayed.  She wanted to ride it.  We chased her around.  Distracted her with the iPad and then food, but a toddler can only take so much sitting in one place. 

We headed home.  Natalie had an appointment for a follow-up CT of her foot to look at the stress fracture in her heel, then she had soccer practice. 

Later this evening, I start having diarrhea.  I looked through my instructions.  I took 2 Immodium and called my mom.

"Mom,"  I said, "I have to talk to you as an oncology nurse right now."

"Ok," she said, "What's up?"

"Well, I have diarrhea and I took 2 Immodium from my home supply and I feel ok and everything, so do you really think I need to call the on-call nurse?"

"Sarah."  My Oncology Nurse mom said, "If you wanted  'No, you don't have to call. You're fine. Just wait.  It will go away by itself.'  then, Sarah, you meant to call your dad and you dialed the wrong number, but you asked to talk to the oncology nurse in me, so here is my advice: Get that bottle of Immodium the nurse gave you and open it.  Break the seal and take out 2 pills.  Put these pills in your home supply and only use the pills in the bottle from now on.  Find the number and call now.  You are on a Clinical Trial and you have to follow all the instructions they gave you.  Do it now."

"Ok.  I will.... Hey, mom, how would you like that job?  Answering the 'shit pager?'" 

She laughed, "I wonder what the ring tone sounds like?'  I could hear her opening a drawer.  "Probably like this-" 

She pushed the button on her fart machine key chain.  We laughed.  "Hey, maybe these should be standard equipment for nurses and patients.  You could just call, say "Sarah here" and push the button that most closely matches your symptoms.  She went through all six fart variations: Classic Fart, Up Tight Fart, Nervous Fart, Ripper Fart, Juicy Fart and Power Fart.  I have heard these before.  More than once.  Still hilarious.  (My mom told me the video above was her 6th attempt.  She just couldn't do it without laughing.  That's a family trait, by the way- dominant gene.)

"Sarah, remind me to give this thing to you.  It's yours now.  I am passing the fart machine to you.  Maybe we should have a ceremony or something.  We could wear tiaras!"

I laughed, "You can't part with it."

She said, "It has been sitting in my drawer.  I used to carry it in my purse, but then stuff in there kept pushing the buttons as I walked and the thing kept going off."

"Yeah, sure it did." 

"It did!  I had to take it out and now I forget I have it....  Hey, sorry to make fun of your diarrhea.  It was those onion rings.  We are not used to eating a lot of fried food.  Give me and Amy a few hours, we'll catch up to you .   I love you.  Hope you feel better.  Sarah, you call the shit pager right now!"  Then she pressed the button to the loudest and longest fart....  At least, I think she hit the button.  :)

Where is Amy's cow keychain?  Here it is!  

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