Seasons: Round 4, Dose 2



Valentine's Day has passed,

so before we picked my mom up for chemo today,

Olivia and I stopped at Target

and found some cool stuff on clearance. 

I know Kohls has a "Lowest Prices of the Season Sale"

-like once a week-

and I am reminded...

to everything there is a season.




There is a time to color Hello Kitty.




A Time to munch on Valentine Treats at 50% off!




A Time to apply Valentine Chapstick



carefully to "my yips."



 There is a Time to Smile.



A Time to Dance



and skip



(turn, turn, turn)



and a Time to put your hand up in the air
just because it's fun



to twirl dizzy-fast.



There is a Time to check out who else is going potty.



And a Time NOT to be defined
by what life puts in your path.



There is a Time to cuddle with Mom,



while she rubs your back
and makes you feel safe and warm.



 

"To everything,

there is a season.

And a time to every purpose

under Heaven."

-Ecclesiastes

-Pete Seeger (May 3, 1919- January 27, 2014),

may he rest in Peace

Dooms Day: or Eribulin Dose 1

The Infusion center called over the weekend to say they are having trouble finding my chemo. We were called around noon today to inform me they had found it. Yay. Not.  All chemo wipes me out for a few days and I don't know what new side effects this one will hold.  I choose to have my chemo on Monday, so I can be ready for work on Saturday.

 I work every weekend, so Monday is my big cleaning day. I get the older girls up and off to school. Olivia helps me pick up the kitchen and start laundry. Cleaning done and laundry still washing. We make a grocery list including easy foods for Mark to cook.  At the store I pick up my post-chemo cuisine: 7up, ginger ale, crackers, vegetable broth, rice.  I stop by the by the pharmacy to pick up my pain meds and zofran. Grocery shopping done and put away.  Amore walked.  Lunch made and eaten.  Time to go.

Olivia stayed home with her Dad.  Amore and I drove to my parent's house.  Amore sang the whole way anticipating our destination!  She was so happy to see her sisters!  My mom was getting ready.  She worked the overnight shift the night before.  I asked my dad if he wanted to come along.  He said, "Yes."   Off we went.

I haven't been to the infusion center at Mercy Hospital for months, so it was like a reunion of sorts.  My favorite room in the corner was taken, so instead of waiting, I picked a room with a hospital bed.  My parents took turns sitting on the bed with me while my PIV was started and I got a half hour infusion on an antiemetic and an IV push antiemetic.  The chemo itself was pushed into the IV line over 3-5 minutes.  PIV out and done. 

My parents took me out for a veggieburger and onion rings, leaving Amore at their house.

When I got home Olivia asked me many times about her Amore.  I told her she is having a sleepover with her sisters.  She got my car keys and told me, "Go get my Amore.  I love her.  She's my friend."

Meeting of the Minds

This morning, we had one more meeting of the minds before starting the new chemo, Eribulin (FDA approved July 2013.  Given on a 21 day cycle- days 1,7-  so Monday Dose  #1, next Monday Dose #2, the next Monday off, then repeat.)  We started with labs, so we went to the clinic infusion center waiting room.  A man was sitting in the chair next to the candy bowl.  Olivia gave him the stink eye. I handed her the bowl and she filled her hands and pockets. She asked Mark for a cup and he started filling it with water.  She yells, "NO!" Grandma trys to get her to page through a book with pictures of baby hats she will knit for Ashley and John's baby. She is not having any distraction and she is still asking for a cup. I get her a cup, she thanks me, then starts unloading the candy from her pocket into the cup. My name is called. I am told to head to the sink to run warm water over my hands to warm them up. That water is HOT, but worth it, because it only took 3 needle sticks to fill 8 lab tubes.

We go back the waiting room. Olivia starts eating candy.  Grandma reminds her to put her garbage in the garbage  can. She run over to the old white push-pedal can. Pure joy crosses Olivia's face using the foot pedal.  She starts looking around for more trash to throw.



My name is called and we are ushered to a room where my weight and vitals are taken and my pain meds reviewed. There is a knock on the door, then Dr Laudi and Deb walk in.  Dr. Laudi greets Olivia, but she holds her cup up to her eyes, trying to hide behind it. We all laugh.

 

 

Dr Laudi says hello and teases me for bringing Mark. He ask about my pain, my bowels, my weight, my nausea, my appetite...

Pain: No
Bowels: Diarrhea
Weight: Same as last appt, but down 25 pounds from May and down 60 pounds in 2 years
Nausea: Yes
Appetite: I say good, but Mark and my Mom disagree.

Dr Laudi is a little concerned about the diarrhea and nausea. He lists other meds we could use for nausea, Marinol, Ativan, Haldol, a scopolamine patch?  I laugh at the Haldol. I like the Zofran and will stick with that.

The plan is to start chemo on Monday, November 18.

Halloween and PET/CT scan results

Halloween Day.

Costumes planned.  Party planned.  And a ghostly monster, named Cancer, decides to rear its ugly head... again.

At my appointment this morning, Dr. Laudi said the MRI confirmed that my L4 tumor was bigger and I had 3 small, new tumors in my liver with the largest measuring 7mm and so close to a blood vessel that biopsy is not possible.  We discussed my treatment options.  Without a biopsy, we don't know how the cancer cells may have mutated.  Though my original cancer cells were Estrogen+  Progesterone+  Herceptin-, over time and after exposure to all the drugs and chemos I have had, these can change.  I still have a page-long list of chemo options, some of which can be caustic to skin and tissue if they infiltrate a peripheral IV, so we had long discussion of what to do next.  I feel resistant to getting a central line, like a portacath which is surgically implanted under the skin and threaded into a large blood vessel.  When it needs to be used, it is accessed with a needle and covered with a sterile dressing.  Blood can be drawn from it and fluids and chemo can be infused into it.   In the hospital, we see many kids coming in with these central lines infected.  My mom cautioned me that this is a skewed picture and encouraged me to check into the infection rates.  She said she respected my decision.

For now, I don't want a port.  Plan to start a new chemo on November 18.

I dropped off pictures at the Funeral Home for my Grandma's service next Tuesday.  I picked up last minute costume items and pizza for the party. 

We had a fun night together...



Halloween 2013

Spooky Decorations

Getting ready for Trick-or-Treaters.

Olivia loving a new baby.

Ashley and Amore.

Cancer is frightening, but so are we!



PET/CT scans

All three girls started school: Natalie 8th grade, Larissa 3rd grade, Olivia preschool.

My PET and CT scans showed no new growth, and the tumor is slightly smaller. The tumor is moving in the right direction and Dr. Laudi likes that it gives us a visual marker to see how this chemo is working.  The plan is to stay on this chemo and do another scan in 8 weeks.


Olivia's pocket is full of candy